This is not going to be popular, but it has to be said. Stop having babies that you can't or won't support. If I hear one more women say either that "I don't need a man" (translation he left) or "I raised my baby all on my own" (translation: I've totally forgotten about all of the help that I have mooched over the years) I am going to scream. Newsflash: If you are or have been on welfare to raise your baby, you are not doing it all alone, so thank all of the tax payers that footed the bill for you! Let's face it, it is impossible to raise children "all alone." If you are honest with yourself, you either lived rent free with your parents (or some family member) or in one of their homes, was on welfare, section 8 or used someone to babysit your children either for free or a nominal fee. Stop lying to yourself and to the future "drama mamas" on the horizon. I am disgusted that it is so easy for anyone to leave children without any responsibility or persecution, but it does happen. So instead of wearing the martyr motto of "I did it all by myself" -- Tell the truth and stop the next young heart from being broken. Tell these girls how you felt when he left you to raise his child and you saw him with Rashida and her six kids, none of which were his. Or how about a honest discussion about your heartache when his family dupped you into believing that he loved you, but he was struggling with his drug addiction; when all the while everyone knew that you were truly the other women. Tell these girls how easy it is to fall hopelessly into depression once the fantasy of family falls hard on your face. Tell them that the face of poverty is a single parent with two children. Stop kidding yourself into believing that there is something honorable about raising a baby alone. It only makes you bitter, miserable and desperate. Your life becomes a struggle of robbing Peter to pay Paul, all while you lose yourself in the pretense of "I don't need anyone" mantras. We do each other and our lineage a diservice when we pretend our pain away. Young girls, it is okay not to have a baby by every man you meet! And young men, take those big shirts (or as I like to call them downlow dresses) off, pull your pants up and do the right thing by your children. And to all of you hoochies that think you are okay because you choose to believe the lies that the men tell you..."yeah, she doesn't understand me or I don't love her anymore" -- grow up and act your age, not your shoe size. After the baby is born, love has nothing to do with it anymore -- the baby should come first. There needs to be a federal law passed such that if you are making it easy for a man, woman or beast to leave their children, then your wages should be garnished too. Harboring an absent parent should be punishable by jail time. Then you'll stop, once there is a consequence associated with your bad behavior! We will then see this need to have a partner at all costs (namely the children) cease and desist. Stop being so selfish and do the right thing. Leave other people's property (husbands, wifes, etc) alone! Solitude really gets a bad rap! You need to be alone to get to know the real you. Next time: too much crack is killing my vision