Why we can't get rid of "the n word"

Yesterday my family attended a Christmas play. It was supposed to be a family night full of good tides and good feelings. But to paraphrase Chris Rock, Black folks can try to have fun, but there is always one group that messes it up. You got it, niggers! Consequently my night ended with a drive by verbal assault by one such member of that exclusive group. She was apparently upset with me, because my mother and I had been conversing prior to the play about parental responsibility to their children. You see there were a lot of children at the play last night and we just hoped these parents were going to keep their children under control. I mean, we were at a play for goodness sake. I also had made a comment about mothers and how they should always have some snacks on hand for their younger children. Well, apparently, my comments were offensive to a women who was sitting near me. She eavesdropped on my conversation that didn't involve or include her and decided to get her feelings hurt. I had no clue that my comments were under scrutiny until after I was lambasted with insults, by another woman who was sitting in front of the alleged victim of my conversation with my mother. I was called a demon and was threatened with an exorcism by this woman who continued to yell and scream at me, because both her and her girlfriend chose not to mind their own business. They took offense at a conversation about parental responsibility. How gauche and incredibly nigger! This woman had the audacity to continue to scream about how she was a church woman and how I am suppose to approach others with love. (But stop, I wasn't talking to or about either one of these people) She then attacked my appearance, because of my girth. (How very Christian of her) Remember, she was a church woman... When my mother tried to remind her that she was in fact in a church, she screamed at my mother that she wasn't a Christian woman and took offense that my mother would remind her of her surroundings. I just couldn't believe this woman, but when you took a good look at her, she appeared as if she was a recovering addict new to both the church and sobriety. I could be wrong, but I doubt it. You see when you are classy, intelligent and neat, you remind the slovenly about what they lack by just being in the room. This woman choose to insert herself into my life and attack me, because I hadn't taken the ghetto path that she enjoyed riding. So you see, without the word nigger there just isn't a word to adequately describe this woman. So don't throw out the word, just understand that there are some societal misfits that can't be described any other way.

Stuck on Stupid

It is very easy to fall prey to the traps of nonsense in this world. Right now, I'm stuck in a situation that is so beneath me, it would be laughable; if it wasn't so sad. You know, I tried to rekindle something that should have never been lit in the first place. And sometimes, when you try to go back to something that was never right, the consequences become incredibly huge. Now that I am older, the stuff that I tolerated before, totally incenses me. I have no patience for individuals who aren't responsible or mature. I have no patience for those who chose escapism as their vehicle to handle life. And because I didn't realize that both parties hadn't grown, I am in a front row seat to a comedy of errors. If you haven't accomplished anything in your adult life, such that you must relive your pubescent youth constantly, get a life. It is pathetic that you haven't challenged your self to grow, but please, don't bore the rest of us with your constant barrage of youthful memories that you can't let go. Understand that this kind of mismatch is dangerous, because the older both parties get, the stakes also get higher. The immature adult child wants to resolve issues physically (like a child) and the other party just wants the tie broken. Since both don't agree on a resolution, anger, arguments and possibly violence occurs. It is not worth trying to go home again, especially if your memories are rose colored. In hindsight, this waste of energy, was always just that. A waste of energy, a way to settle and not allow myself to grow and experience new and more challenging things. The irrational reasons that I used, in the past, to stay stuck on stupid (or shall I say with stupid) don't even matter anymore and as such I am miserable. I can't shake this virus, it won't go away. No matter how much I plead, or reason or shout, it doesn't hear anything I say. This breed of selfishness is beyond reason and for the life of me I don't see anyway out. So learn from me, take the high road always, it may be unfamiliar and scary, but the growth that you will receive will be worth it; and the misery that you may avoid will be a gift from God.

A piece of peace

Wow, this weekend was a turning point for me. It was as if I was on everyone's target list. People don't like their fragile world's shattered, no matter how phony it is: no matter how unrealistic it is and no matter how out of touch with reality it is. If in 2008, we can't break bread with a dialogue about race, then why did so many of our ancestors die. For us to just sit around and pretend that in many circles we are not still hated for the mere color of our skin is an insult to every African that suffered during the MAAFA. That we will spit out more fire to each other than our oppressors ever did is a indication that we suffer from a deep seated self hatred. That we will attack those only wanting to engage in discourse and open the mind to reality, more than we will attack those who want to keep you in mental bondage is absolutely scary! The expression of reality is not an endorsement, it is only an expression. To all those, who chose to berate me this weekend, I thank you for setting me free from the need to pretend to be your friend. How free it is to be released from the fantasy of acceptance and the need of embrace from all. Some people must be purged from your life, or your life would be full of unnecessary verbiage.

When it comes to parenting, its priorities, priorities, priorities!

I saw a sister today with her son waiting in an office. Now this woman was accompanied by her two year old son and she hadn't thought to bring him any toys, a bottle, juice, a snack, teething ring, not a binky, a book or anything. Well, you know that without stimulation, the child is going to bore very quickly and become fretful. He managed to find a Jet magazine on his own and asked his mother to "read." Well, this bonehead said, "No." She proceeded to have a three minute childish argument with the child, stating that she didn't want to read and kept telling him to read it. After his argument with his mom, all of the joy and excitment that the child first exhibited about reading was gone. He picked up on his mother's lack of enthusiam about reading and followed suit. Wow, what a waste of a teachable moment. Why couldn't she spend 10 minutes reading to this child? Even if she couldn't read, she could have pretended to read, the two old wouldn't have known the difference. What a pity, that this woman felt that she would rather sit in a chair and do nothing with her child than share a memorable moment that could have instilled a love of reading to her son. Some people just shouldn't have kids. Now the priorities that will be passed down to her son will be the same ones that were passed down to her. That children and education aren't a priority, but sitting in an office begging for a social service is much more important. Too bad, the struggle continues, but where oh where have the warriors gone? They've gone to the county assistance office to beg for a handout as they play the role of parent. I'll make a baby, but don't ask me to raise it! Wake up, take the laziness out of your head and put some common sense into it.

Black Life, full of strife!

If I hear one more sister complain about a Black man in their household, I am going to scream! I don't know why some Brothers feel that just their presence in the home is tantamount to doing the right thing. No, you must pay bills, you must contribute to the family in a positive way and you must be supportive to your mate. I don't know when this new breed of brother came into existence, but he must be retrained. I don't care if this offends some in our community, because it needs to be said! Sisters are tired of running the household, by paying all or most of the bills, while the man justifies having money for video games, booze, cigarettes and all of the instant gratification rituals. Now if this characterization doesn't fit you, than I am not talking about you, so don't get mad. Too much emphasize is placed on the man just being in the household, no that is not enough. You must learn that you can not treat your family the way you treated the whores that were taking care of you when you abandoned your family. You must provide and share equally in the household responsibilities. We must stop just telling these males to go back to their families without adequately training them on what being part of a family means. No it is not just being there, it is hard work and I understand that some females fit this profile as well. Sisters have been alone so long running the home, that we must relearn what it means to be a partner. We must learn how to speak to our men lovingly and supportively, but we can't do that if our men aren't active participants in the household. Don't ask the women to provide all of the finances and yet still yeild to the brother as he is head, being head of the household means being fiscally responsible, not just barking out orders. We have lost a part of ourselves that used to be common when it came to understanding family obligations. When you pulled down your pants or up your skirts, you signed a contract and your selfish living days were over. If you want to be all about you, then don't procreate, but when you decide to play like an adult and engage in behavior that can make you a parent understand the consequences. Stop talking about what white men do, and what white folks do, we are not white and didn't want to use to be white. Black families had a love about themselves that transcended every material thing. Not anymore, I see that we can afford tatooes and video games, flat screens, cable or dtv televison, all the latest clothing trends and all the fluff that society tells you to buy, but do you own any books for your children? Can your children spell their names, while they sing all of the derogatory and innappropriate songs that they mimic from the radio? When are we going to get that it is okay to be different and stop making excuses for our bad behaviors? Slaves had stronger family bonds than we do now. Do you realize that as slaves we had to make babies and leave them. We had to have sex with individuals that we didn't know and now we engage in that kind of mindless breeding behavior on purpose. Stop talking about other groups if you can't focus on your own nonsense. We can no longer accept the immoralities of this society as norms in our families. The ways of others never have fit into our communities and as such we tend to be hurt much more than those who are accustomed to that which is strange to us. Africans were communial and as such our family ties meant more to us that the other "bean-counting" beings that we live around. We must take back ourselves for our sanity and for our survival. Read a book entitled Slave Community, Malcolm X books, Dr. John Henrik Clarke, Dr. Welsings' Isis Papers and read anything written by Del Jones. We must learn from which we came in order for us to know where we have to go in order to prosper and grow beyond the mess that we have sunken into. This is not an indictment on only Black men, but on all of us; we must become aware that our current actions are not only killing us as a people, but it is breeding a new community that isn't productive to anything except the consumption of things at the cost of our souls.