If I hear one more sister complain about a Black man in their household, I am going to scream! I don't know why some Brothers feel that just their presence in the home is tantamount to doing the right thing. No, you must pay bills, you must contribute to the family in a positive way and you must be supportive to your mate. I don't know when this new breed of brother came into existence, but he must be retrained. I don't care if this offends some in our community, because it needs to be said! Sisters are tired of running the household, by paying all or most of the bills, while the man justifies having money for video games, booze, cigarettes and all of the instant gratification rituals. Now if this characterization doesn't fit you, than I am not talking about you, so don't get mad. Too much emphasize is placed on the man just being in the household, no that is not enough. You must learn that you can not treat your family the way you treated the whores that were taking care of you when you abandoned your family. You must provide and share equally in the household responsibilities. We must stop just telling these males to go back to their families without adequately training them on what being part of a family means. No it is not just being there, it is hard work and I understand that some females fit this profile as well. Sisters have been alone so long running the home, that we must relearn what it means to be a partner. We must learn how to speak to our men lovingly and supportively, but we can't do that if our men aren't active participants in the household. Don't ask the women to provide all of the finances and yet still yeild to the brother as he is head, being head of the household means being fiscally responsible, not just barking out orders. We have lost a part of ourselves that used to be common when it came to understanding family obligations. When you pulled down your pants or up your skirts, you signed a contract and your selfish living days were over. If you want to be all about you, then don't procreate, but when you decide to play like an adult and engage in behavior that can make you a parent understand the consequences. Stop talking about what white men do, and what white folks do, we are not white and didn't want to use to be white. Black families had a love about themselves that transcended every material thing. Not anymore, I see that we can afford tatooes and video games, flat screens, cable or dtv televison, all the latest clothing trends and all the fluff that society tells you to buy, but do you own any books for your children? Can your children spell their names, while they sing all of the derogatory and innappropriate songs that they mimic from the radio? When are we going to get that it is okay to be different and stop making excuses for our bad behaviors? Slaves had stronger family bonds than we do now. Do you realize that as slaves we had to make babies and leave them. We had to have sex with individuals that we didn't know and now we engage in that kind of mindless breeding behavior on purpose. Stop talking about other groups if you can't focus on your own nonsense. We can no longer accept the immoralities of this society as norms in our families. The ways of others never have fit into our communities and as such we tend to be hurt much more than those who are accustomed to that which is strange to us. Africans were communial and as such our family ties meant more to us that the other "bean-counting" beings that we live around. We must take back ourselves for our sanity and for our survival. Read a book entitled Slave Community, Malcolm X books, Dr. John Henrik Clarke, Dr. Welsings' Isis Papers and read anything written by Del Jones. We must learn from which we came in order for us to know where we have to go in order to prosper and grow beyond the mess that we have sunken into. This is not an indictment on only Black men, but on all of us; we must become aware that our current actions are not only killing us as a people, but it is breeding a new community that isn't productive to anything except the consumption of things at the cost of our souls.
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